about loss pt. II

about loss pt. II

it’s been a few months since you disappeared
since you vanished without a warning
trying to fall asleep, i always pray for the morning

because then and there i think
so intensely i can hardly stand it
the way you left is still rewinding in my mind
how you went just like that,
out of the blue

i think about everything
it’s almost scary how i remember every detail
every ring
on your hand

how i remember holding it in mine a few years back
when falling asleep together

i think about all the hugs we shared
i think about your eyes
about how i was scared
when i saw them for the last time
as you looked at me from the ambulance
but not directly at me, yes, i remember
them looking as the closure
of your dance

it’s been a few months but i know
i’ll see you in my dreams

where i tell you how terribly i miss us
where i tell you the important
and less important stuff
where i tell you about the pain
where i break into pieces in your arms

and even when i’m sleeping
let me tell you, it still hurts 
even being just a dream, every breath is aching

but what can i do
i’ll just pray for the morning
for the sun and for the waking


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