in what colours should i dream

in what colours should i dream

dream big, they say
but how do you dream about a taken boy
how do you dream about an almost-friend

dream big, they say
but somehow i don’t dare to dream about them breaking up
i don’t dare to dream about him being unhappy

when did he get under my skin
i am trying to recall

i suspect some moments
the first time he smiled at me
how that smile touched me at places i thought were blocked

or when he did nothing but drove a car

hands on the steering wheel
a song in the background
a dark sky outside
and me realising
that here i go again

i can’t tell the exact memory
but i can tell that i knew from the very beginning
how this story will end

those nicknames he uses
they are enough, i remind myself
his laughter is enough
and will be enough, i promise

i won’t be dreaming about his touches
i won’t be imagining his kisses

silly girl, imagine him with his girlfriend

she’s the one he’d kiss
he may be doing it right now
and you’ll never know how

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