if u r wondering, where is this girl...

she just left, as she always does.

that’s when

that’s when

as my mother says that others will come,
i am trying to imagine them

a dark-skinned boy who looks nothing like you
approaching me on the dancing floor

a long-haired girl wearing confidence i never had
me, approaching her

others will come, my mother says 

to what she says, i respond quietly:
i know they will

but all i really see is that closed door
all i really see is you mean so much more

and then she hugs me from behind as we lay
my eyes are instantly watery

something in me whispers –
this is how he held you
something in me screams –
you have lost it

hey you, a short boy with oversized clothes
hey you, a girl with a pretty smile
will either of you last more than a while?

will either of you look at me the way he did?

who are you trying to fool, silly girl 
you already know the answer

no, they won’t
no, he can’t be replaced
parts of your soul he moved will be left untouched

only him
and our past
and our future, shattered by my hand

only this rushes through my mind
as my mother says that others will come

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