if u r wondering, where is this girl...

she just left, as she always does.



today your absence is alarming
how can it be that one day you were here and the next one you weren’t

today your friend stopped me on street
and asked me about life
she would know, i thought

you were always gossiping with those old ladies
competing and comparing your grandchildren

she would know, i thought
and tried so hard not to cry

today i looked into her eyes
said to myself that one of you survived
and wondered what made you chosen not to

today I had to bear the though

that someday i’ll have fights i fought
that someday i may be full of fears
that other months will come and then years

and that there’s a chance never coming back
a chance to drive you to the mall
most importantly, a chance to share it all

you said you remember me learning to walk
outside in the garden and i see all those steps
somehow, i see it with your eyes

i see you being young
group of friends and that cheap wine
somehow, your memories are now mine

mine to carry and mine to hold
i assure you that i will
even if that’d be the only thing i do right

i want to stop by and hear one more story
or just have a tea and tell you about my day

but the first thing i would say
i want you not to die

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